Genius, inventor, and occasional psychonaut; Leo is the stoic center of the Passive Depressive friend group.
Likes: Long walks, technologically complicated solutions for simple problems, the nostalgic smell of a cathode ray tube, and saag paneer.
Dislikes: Post Liberal Capitalism, Nancy Drew novels, duplicitous doubles from parallel dimensions hell bent on world domination, asparagus.
Slight in figure, but tall in stature, Tracy faces life with the following credo: Live and let live, unless you piss me off, in which case live and socially destroy, emotionally neuter, or physically crush totally and without mercy.
Likes: Success, tears, made for television specials based on romance novels, humiliating people who have it coming, humiliating people who sort of have it coming, and occasionally humiliating people who didn't have it coming at all.
Dislikes: Plebe coffee, 'bros', people who think square dancing is a sport, the fact that self defense is a valid legal defense but vengence isn't, most other people.
Voted most likely to be convicted under anti-sex-crime legislation by his classmates in primary school, Denny's honest perversity and jovial ineptitudes both help and hinder him throughout his daily life.
Likes: paraphilias, flavored lubricants (except licorice), marijuana, the feeling of jello between his toes - as well as a few other body parts.
Dislikes: laws concerning sexual consent and invertebrates, tapioca, ornamental rocks that look like candy.
Honest as he is wholesome, Warnick is a gentle technophile who only stopped being a boy scout when he discovered that there was no cell phone reception at the Camp Wakanomba camp grounds.
Likes: New gadgets, expensive accessories for almost new gadgets, aggressive women, reality television shows, and muffin tops.
Dislikes: Last years gadgets, stinging insects, open box discounts, April fools days, squirrels, and Ghostbusters.
Crude as he is skinny, Larsen is as similar to his brother Warnick in manner as he is in appearance. But beneath Larsen's outward demeanor of a socially awkward, sex obsessed adolescent lies the heart of a relatively kind, socially awkward, sex obsessed middle aged man who still lives with his parents, and whose conversations with women typically begin with credit card numbers.
Likes: Beaver, Chuzzle, Snapper, Tuna, Pink Stink, Sopping Gash, Fur Pie, or the ol' brown eye surprise!
Dislikes: Gumballs, romantic words like "vagina," being caught masturbating by his mother, the fact that wet dreams do not count as having lost one's virginity, cold mashed potatoes.
Denny's girlfriend is quiet, yet assertive. She has been good for Denny, and has recently announced that they are going to have a baby together. Despite some of Denny's friends hesitation, she is completely confident in him and is certain he will make a fantastic father.
Likes: romantic walks on the beach, sadio-maschistic role plays, sin, lemon custard, Denny, and internet porn.
Dislikes: Neo conservatives who claim women have reached equality and the fight is over, rasberry lip gloss, mass media domination of conventional beauty standards, people who are mean to Denny, and Tang drink crystals.
Kane & Abel
As much your average 9 year olds as Han Solo and Chewbacca are average smugglers; Tracy's niece and nephew are locked in a deadly struggle with an ancient evil whose constant hunger for child-flesh is surpassed only by his taste for power.
Dislikes: Condescending adults, child eating man-goats, algebra, people who cheat at dance dance revolution.
One of the very few inventions by Leo which doesn't serve a practical purpose- except maybe keeping Denny in a constant state of self-doubt and pathos. "Uncle COTI" (the latter is an abbreviation of "Crying-On-The-Inside") searches deep into a living being's soul and measures exactly how much they are crying... on the inside.
Likes / Dislikes: Nothing. The COTI meter is completely unbiased.
Built by Leo as an experiment in quasi-sentient automated toasting, Mr. Toasty was later hastily retrofitted to be a battle-ready assassin. Believed to be destroyed, Mr. Toasty became master of his own destiny and traveled far and wide, eventually resurfacing as the head of the legendary Blood Lotus Clan of ninjas.
Likes: Demure kitchen appliances, the smell of Lysol in the morning, warm delicious toast, the satisfaction of a job well done, squirrels - ideally turned inside out.
Dislikes: Road runner cartoons, deceitful french toast - which falsely lays claim to the 'toast' moniker, squirrels - when not turned inside out, the movie Eragon.
Very few even know of this ancient and evil child eating man-goat, and fewer still know much of his terrible origins. What is known is that this dark creature, far from the legend of an obese gift toting elf his story has spawned, still offers unscrupulous parents rewards in exchange for their children. With his evil pie-craft he makes crusts aplenty, filling them with the children's screams and flesh.
Likes: Darkness, child-flavored meat pies, despair, the dark arts, apathy amongst the good.
Dislikes: Reminders of his fall from grace, aromatherapy, the movie Tampopo, hope, all that is good and pure in the world.
Old Paint Huffing Hobo
Little is known of the mysterious paint huffing hobo. Only that he is old, a hobo, and has been known to huff paint.
Likes: Neil Young, environmentally friendly spray paint, spam, the last 20 minutes of the Magnificent Seven.
Dislikes: Laws against vagrancy, diet pop, the oppression of democracy in Burma, condescending little fuckers who think they are so much better than you just because they don't huff paint!
A cunning pedophilic sentient gumball machine.
Likes: Children (not in a good way)
Dislikes: Gumballs (no hatred stronger than that of self)
Owner and sole proprietor of the hugely successful chain of high end coffee bars: Khan's Coffee, Khan has recently set his sights to politics. Unscrupulous and callous as he is polite and well spoken, Khan has begun to rise in power, either recruiting or destroying all that might stand in his path.
Likes: Money, expensive clothes, power, reneging on campaign promises, silk, Cheezey Wheezey Burgers, and getting away with murder.
Dislikes: Children, gumballs, people who eat with their elbows on the table, the concept of altruism.
By Kenji Toyooka and Phil Steinersen
One fine morning in late August, Leo, a brilliant inventor, decided to put his talents towards something a
little different than his usual fare. Maybe his old friend Tracy, who had just come over for coffee, was
finally influencing him with her sadistic humour. This creation, he thought, would get a nice chuckle.
Tracy on the other hand was pursuing something perfectly befitting of her personality- an online project that
was as much a business venture as a perverse social experiment. All she needed to do now was to wait for Denny
to finish his task that she had assigned him.
But Denny was not doing anything related to Tracy's project. He had just left his apartment and was strolling
through the park towards Leo's house. A virus had infected his laptop, and the hentai fantasy demon porn he
had been downloading had gotten disrupted. Bored, he decided to visit Leo.
Meanwhile, a tall but geeky technophile named Warnick had just moved back into the city from the suburbs. He
was checking out the local newspaper when he noticed an interesting ad. Wanted: able-bodied volunteer to
help test revolutionary technological prototypes. Please contact Leo at email@example.com. Warnick was
Unaware of the extraordinary destinies that awaited them, the four were about to converge and start an
exciting journey that would involve many people and many worlds.
Beats Entropy is the birthplace of Passive Depressive. It is a blog that has been run by its fearless
leader AJ Valliant since the summer of 2006, and quite possibly contains all the answers to everything
you ever wanted to know, or have yet to realize that you want to know.